Regret

Regret seems to haunt me everyday
Even if I try to live this life my own way
It’s always there, latching at the back of my throat,
Sucking and taking like a leach
but always in the part where there is no way for me to even try to reach

It’s there, yelling and screaming at me to get loose
It’s there, tightening and feeling me like a noose
A noose! A noose of shiny golden chains!
A noose so bright, it drives not just me but everybody insane

It was there before, and it was there after
Not even when the world starts spinning faster
It was there when I fell
but It was there to choke me so I couldn’t even dream to yell

It latches and bites and churns on the inside
while it spits out what it eats and makes an armor on the outside,
an armor so well done, I couldn’t even see it
an armor I can’t see, doesn’t mean I couldn’t feel it

I feel it clutching on me, on my limbs, and on my hands
It keeps trying to make me go into many foreign lands
I don’t want this, I want to be me
but how can I be me when I’m fused with this uncertainty?

I just want to breathe, I just want to forget
I want to just breathe and hold the promises that I kept
I just want to be free, I just want to accept
but how can I forgive when there’s no forgiveness for me left?

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