The Chase

I remember her eyes being covered. I remember her always having that adorable smile on her face. She wasn’t perfect. No one ever was. Sometimes, she murmurs in her sleep. Sometimes, she forgets to put back her mug on the sink. Other times, she even forgets to sharpen her pencils.

I don’t know her that much, but I feel so much for her. The way her mid-length inky hair cascades down her back. She was never really someone I could get close to. She was never really someone open to a conversation with me. She was always a fleeting dream, a fleeting fantasy. She would always look behind and smile at me as if saying “It’s alright, I forgive you”. But after each smile and each caress, she would leave. She would sprint away from me with innocent laughter. My legs would always give out each time I try to chase her. I pound my fists at the unsanitary ground and scream with all my frustration.

“It would always be like this! It would always be painful chasing a cloud, chasing a mystery, chasing something so impermanent! Why should I even chase her? Why should I waste more of my time trying to have her in my arms?”

But even after all that screaming, I never got my answer. With me never getting my answer, I never found it in me to give up.

I stood up, through my bruises and my scratches. I looked up and ran towards her. The pain was unbearable. The effort was soul-crushing, but it was worth it. I jumped and I embraced her. I held her tight and I loosened my eyelids. Tears fell and my smile rose. I tried not to stutter.

“It’s b-been such a lo-ong time. I missed you so so much” I held her tighter and let my spirit feel lighter. I felt the worries and the ease gone. I finally won the race. I finally am complete. I was finally able to chase her. I finally caught up to myself.

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